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It has all the hallmarks of a new editor: excessive crossfades, no Ken Burns, static cuts. I think it’s decent though, since I have some internal sync, beat sync, and lyric sync; the basics are there. Maybe I’ll remaster it some day to make it great. The circumstances around how this AMV was created are also pretty unique, but that’s another blog post for another day. I made this video pretty quickly and consider it to have been easy to make considering it was my first finished work.
This blog post, however, was authored to accompany the release of my newest AMV, Dark on White. While watching it IS important in the context of the blog post, you can also wait and watch it after you’ve read the story:
I started this AMV just one month after finishing the Ponyo video, almost to the day. My initial goal was to finish it for AWA 2022. Then I wanted to finish it for RICE 2023, then AWA 2023. I finally pushed myself to put it out for RICE 2024. Even then, the video was only mildly successful, and I felt like it still needed something. Fortunately, RICE is a feedback event, and I got a lot of it.
When I tell people I couldn’t have made this video two years ago, the first thing they comment on is the masked fan blade transition at 1:16. Truthfully, however, that transition has been in the video since my first stab at finishing it, and the first mask transition that I ever attempted. The transition is also largely unchanged from the first timeline in 2022. While my technical skills have improved a lot since 2022, and the technical pieces that I learned have definitely made this AMV better, the software skills were not what was holding me back.
The reason I struggled with this AMV is completely due to the story I was trying to tell and how. When I first watched Penguindrum ~12 years ago, my strongest memories were of the siblings’ relationship, specifically Shoma’s part in all of it. Shoma was kind, genuine, and made a lot of sacrifices for his family. Himari, the innocent and sickly sister, was trapped in the middle of the uncomfortable truce between Shoma and brother Kanba, the three of them struggling to keep the family together after their parents’ criminal actions. When I discovered this song ten years later, I wanted to use it to explore the push and pull of the three siblings: Shoma, trying to take care of the family, and Himari choosing Kanba anyway despite Kanba following in their parents’ footsteps. I wanted the video to be beautiful and sad and hopeful, I wanted it to be artistic and abstract to pay homage to the show, and I wanted to show the flux of a family enmired in turmoil with Himari’s chronic illness the loose thread to tie it all together.
When I started clipping scenes two years ago, the first thing I noticed is that there actually are not many scenes of Shoma and Himari together that don’t also involve Ringo. Ringo is eventually Shoma’s love interest and a friend of the family. My goal since the beginning was to keep the video tight by including as few other characters as possible. The show is confusing to follow, so I was fixated with honing in on this single piece, the three siblings, as much as possible. Scene selection, however, was absolutely brutal. The last minute of the video was the worst part. Starting with establishing scenes was fine; Shoma and Himari as children, introduce Kanba as the brother and the family unit, establish conflict. Himari gets sick, introduce the hat. Himari leaves Shoma. Artsy interlude… bring the family conflict back… then…?
It took me four tries to make something I liked enough to show to others. I struggled completing it, forcing myself to finally put it out there. The long list of feedback after RICE 2024 told me I still had things to improve, and there were also things I still wanted to improve. I took the RICE version, redid both a small section in the beginning and about half of the last minute. I liked some updates, but overall I couldn’t tell if I was making it better or just different. I put the post-RICE version out for general feedback, and I didn’t get much reception either way. I knew that I needed to target specific reviewers.
I received good critique on my AMV, and much of it was positive feedback. Everyone loved the fan blade transition, for example, a key dramatic moment that I was glad was successful. Some people told me that they followed it better than other Penguindrum AMVs, that the story I was telling was clear. The critique centered on technical errors, easy to fix, and scene selection, where I focused my updates. One person, however, legitimately loved the first version. I knew they could tell me if the new version was better or not.
After reviewing the new version, their feedback told me that I changed it too much, and the emotional depth was lacking.
I had tried to fix two things with the post-RICE version:
1. Fix the beginning scene where Kanba is punching Shoma. One person didn’t like it because they go from jackets on to off, others commented that the scenes in that area weren’t ideal in general, and I wasn’t happy that the punch came out of nowhere. I tried to remove the punch completely, but that punch set the tone/tension around the Kanba/Shoma relationship.
2. The section with Himari choosing Kanba was previously MUCH longer. It drug on and ruined the pacing of an already slow section. Shoma seeing the empty bed and running with the hat was added to the post-RICE version with a few other scenes, while Kanba was removed completely from this section. However, the conflict with Kanba had less impact with those scenes removed. Himari choosing Kanba over Shoma was critical to the arc I wanted to tell, and I received the feedback that it was definitely missed in the updates.
The version you see on YouTube is a blend of the RICE and Post-RICE versions. I wasn’t sure about the very final scenes, and I’m still not positive. It kind of only makes sense to someone who has seen the show. I tried to leverage Himari “waking up” to make it feel like everything was a bad dream. Originally I had only the close-up family shots, but in the final version I made it more apparent that they were family photos. I added Himari crying at the end to the final version. I think it’s more impactful that way, maybe not.
Ultimately, this video was very challenging to edit. I wanted a tight narrative telling a very small part of the larger whole. Penguindrum is a weird anime and it definitely goes places, lots of places that I don’t cover, and has a highly complex narrative with a lot of side characters. This is definitely not a “make a spreadsheet” AMV. I was only revealing a small slice of the show, a tiny glimpse into a small family dynamic (featuring the creepy doctor Sanetoshi). The improvement to my technical skills after two years of editing was helpful to make the AMV great, but sometimes having a clear vision and determining how to achieve it is what's really needed.
